Pamela's Advice

Pamela Stephenson has written a lengthy piece for the Daily Mail all about Strictly ("I think I actually understand Strictly mania."), her relationship with James ("James and I have not spoken since the Strictly Tour. No particular reason; that’s just the way it is.") and the cliches ("How many years in a row, I wonder, has Len Goodman proclaimed that ‘This season has the best line-up ever!’?").

It's worth a read.

Pamela also offers advice to this year's eager, nervous crop:

1) Exfoliate to the max (I recommend wire brush and Dettol). If not, by the fourth spray-tan your skin will resemble a grouse moor in August.
2) While being spray-tanned, wear the paper g-string provided. Your bits will not look good in bright orange.
3) Get ready to lose a lot of hair. No head can survive mega abuse via hot irons, extensions and cat fights with fellow-contestants.
4) As Friday dawns, remove every morsel of body-hair. Strictly is a no-fluff zone.
5) Do not bed your pro partner. He or she will flirt outrageously with you, but they don’t really fancy you; they just want to win.
6) If you break a leg, rib or neck, don’t complain.
7) If you break a fingernail, shriek to high heaven.
8) Watch where the sound people put your mic — right bra cup for girls, ‘undressed side’ for boys. Even yourself up or you’ll tip over.
9) One pair of false eyelashes is never enough.
10) One pair of knickers is never enough.
11) When the Strictly music starts for the live show, you’re going to need the loo. It’s the best laxative known to man. I recommend nil by mouth from Monday.
12) If you think you look like a drag queen, well duh! Get over yourself.